WHAT CONSTITUTES A GOOD LIFE
Introduction
If today a genie came in front of you and asked you to make 3 wishes what would you say? When individuals are asked what they want the most in life, the responses usually include things like wealth and fame. In popular cinema the notions of success are commonly defined through these parameters. We are told time and again to focus on getting into certain institutions ,on building our careers and are placed under this enormous pressure to attain what is defined as success by social standards. But we never stop to really ask what makes a good life, what really safeguards us during the ups and downs of life and becomes a source of happiness and fulfillment in our lives.
The longest study on happiness -”The Harvard Study of Adult Development” which went on for a span of 75 years and continues even to this date was directed by renowned psychiatrist Robert Waldinger. It aimed to record and understand the life stories of a group of young men from a young age to the end of their lives. This research revealed an answer to the fundamental question of what constitutes a good life. The research indicated that the singular factor which determined the quality of life of the participants undertaking the study was the quality of their relationships.
We already know that connection is a fundamental biological necessity which has been imperative for our survival evolutionarily. But researches have now emerged to prove how connection still continues to be vital for us. A sense of community and social connection has been shown to improve our resilience, give us a sense of purpose, and even have a significant impact on mortality.
An important question is what kind of connection aids our mental and physical well-being. ”The Harvard Study of Adult Development” Clearly indicates that even though positive and loving relationships increase our lifespan and elevate our happiness to a great degree the opposite effect is observed with regards to unhappy relationships. Regular conflict and lack of feelings of being able to count on the people in our lives makes it difficult to cope with the ups and downs of life. Therefore it is important to seek connections which help us feel loved, accepted and valued.
Even a simple act of giving or receiving a hug can significantly boost our mood since it causes release of dopamine and serotonin and relieves anxiety. So next time you feel overwhelmed just lean into a moment of connection with a loved one and watch the magic unfold.
I would like to end with a beautiful quote by Lois Wyse "A good friend is a connection to life — a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world."